Pilot - Someone's Gonna Need Surgery

This here pilot is presented in honor of Netflix's terrible idea to dig up the corpse of the mighty Full House, the sitcomcoriest show that ever Sitcom-Cored.


A bad idea, eh Grannies?  Yeah, because it can only be marginally less stupid than The Growing Pains Movie.  My bandmate and I were just discussing how in the year 200o when that Growing Pains movie aired, it was a time of limbo.  The Sitcom-Core era as we knew it had long been over - that era, which can be quickly defined as TV that was "blissfully unaware," had expired and given way to the "winky winky" TV era, with every show attempting to be witty and urbane.  The formulaic innocence was lost (we theorize) when Seinfeld hit it's stride.  As good as Seinfeld was, it was probably too good, and equivalent to Nirvana coming along and blowing 80's hair-metal out of the water.  And since we do live in a "post-Nirvana" TV sitcom landscape, I can only imagine a Full House revival would be nothing more than a practice in cognitive dissonance.  Two versions of Full House cannot exist in this world, it's too volatile. We'll watch it, of course.


So about this song, Someone's Gonna Need Surgery.  I had a dream one night about a Full House moment that never happened - Danny was singing a bizarre song while playing guitar, and Joey started singing along in a Kermit the Frog voice, saying "Someone's Gonna Need Surgery!," implying that Danny was going nuts, and would need surgery (presumably on his brain) to bring him back to sanity.  So I wrote a song around that phrase exactly as it sounded in my dream, and decided that it should be about the final two-part episode of Full House, where Michelle gets thrown from a horse that she was riding and develops amnesia. The song laments the fact that Michelle survived the accident, but celebrates the fact that Michelle will likely need surgery.