Cram it, Churchey

As many of you know, I was raised in a Baptist family.  From the time I was born until I was about 16, I went to church with my family every Sunday.  We went to three different churches during that time; A church in Cleveland, a second church in Twinsburg, and a third church in my hometown of Aurora, Ohio.  During this time, I saw and heard some crazy things.   Electric Grandmother Inc., in cooperation with Sitcom-Core Co., is proud to present TALES FROM CHURCH.


CLEVELAND: 1978-1984(?)


This is obviously the foggiest era with the least amount of available detail.


- Believe it or not, one of my most vivid memories of going to church in Cleveland was looking into the church nursery and seeing this little boy sticking his poop covered butt in the air while some woman wiped it.  His name was Alex, and the poop smelled horribly.  It was probably the most revolting thing I had ever seen up to that point.  Later that day, I saw the boy running around while his dad chased and called out to him, "Alex...Alex..."  It looked like he still had poop in his pants.


- Once we were at the church for a night gathering, and this teenage boy was whirling around this paper cut-out of a bee attached to a string.  It made a bee-buzzing sound while he whirled it, and it was outstanding. I asked him to keep doing it over and over, and he kept saying "Mmm-K!"


- My favorite hymn was "Holy, Holy, Holy," because I thought it was really loud and intense.